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.............What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had. Growing-up she dreamed of being an artist living in NYC. But that never happened. One night in 1968 a 17-year-old Suzanne Schwartz met Gary Frankel, a man ten years her elder at a party. That night led to them having to get married and her dreams becoming just that.She never resented dad or us kids. She made the best of it by always encouraging us to follow our dreams. She was introduced us to cool new music, books and movies. She made it her goal that her kids were not going to grow-up to be generic suburbanites like so many of the kids we went to school with. She wanted us to be individuals. She wanted us to have the life that she didn’t.The story officially begins in July of 1983. I had just gotten done mowing the Weisman’s lawn and cutting their bushes. For the most part their lawn and bushes were pretty easy to tend to. The only difficult part was seeing Julie lounging by the pool wearing a skimpy bikini. Julie was a perfect 14-year-old hottie. She was 5’2, probably weighed.
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